Do You Embrace The Little Things?
Do you embrace the little things?
Just recently, I found my old Blackberry. Besides the fact that I can’t believe “good” technology seems so obsolete even 3-5 years later, I found some starting bits of info. To my amazement, I found nearly every text conversation over a multi-year period during the… “formative” years of my life (culminating with my junior year of college).
[Sidenote #1–– My maturity today is lightyears ahead of where I was back in those days. It's incredible, really; I don't even sound like the same person.]
The information I found on that phone is downright scary. Reading those conversations is like watching a train wreck… you just can’t look away. It led me to this thought:
Above all else: don’t miss the trees for the forest.
I bet you’re saying… “Oh J-Money (Sidenote #2–– The nickname will catch on if I keep saying it), you have it all wrong! The saying is don’t miss the forest for the trees!”
I have news for you: you’re wrong. Well… sort of. Hear me out.
You see, I fully believe that we miss the forest for the trees sometimes. Too often we focus on our problems or the minutia of daily life and we miss the “bigger picture.” I think you can flip it though, too. Many times in relationships, we see the bigger picture and completely ignore the frivolity, but it’s the frivolity that makes relationships great.
Unless you’ve found your wife, I think we can all agree that relationships are transient. Here one day and gone the next… that’s the typical cycle, regardless of your religious affiliation. In fact, think about your past relationships. How long ago were they? Doesn’t it seem like they were just the blink of an eye?
I believe there’s an overarching issue related to that, but let’s get back to the Blackberry. I came across an “argument” with an ex-girlfriend. It probably solidified my position as worst-boyfriend-of-all-time, but it’s important to share regardless. One night, she was begging me to come over and tell her goodnight and yet all I could muster was… ‘me sleepy’. Ouch. At this time, I lived within walking distance of her apartment. Double ouch… and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
The problem is that I knew she was mine. Because I knew this, I focused on the larger picture (dating, engagement, marriage) instead of the little things that make a relationship so special. I ignored the trees.
You can’t ignore the trees.
If you’re dating somebody, or when you do, consider the following: she loves it when you make her feel special. I know, it’s simple. You’d be surprised though; once you mix-in familiarity and things get “normal,” she becomes normal. Newsflash… she’s never normal.
The small things are what makes any relationship great. Telling her you love her. Cooking dinner for her. Cleaning her car. And so on. Easy things; things you can do without even thinking. Things that are worth going the extra mile.
Looking back on all of those texts, it’s clear to see that I was an idiot. Her texts were littered with phrases like “it’s so obvious I love you more than you love me,” and I always disagreed. Honestly though, she was right. If I truly cared, I would’ve been bending over backward for her. Instead, it was the Jayson Schmidt show and she was just a part of it.
Just remember: If you treat her like a queen, she’ll make you her king (well, her other king).
Do you embrace the little things?