Are All The Good Men Gone?

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I ask this rhetorical question in hopes of a major backlash from you men. On a Christian men’s magazine website, I can only hope that the title of this article is a bit insulting. Yet, the question still must be posed and pondered because of the commonality of “bad” men circulating through the streets everyday in reality. Let me be clear- I am not a man basher. In fact, I like men quite a bit. I am also very willing to dish about women’s issues without bashing my gender, but I will not stand for unworthy behavior from either gender if they claim to be worthy. So I will call it like I see it, and let the chips fall as they may.

I always know it when I see it. A good man. Since it’s a rare occasion, I start realizing how often I see run-of-the-mill men in single circuits all around town (Married men need not apply to this article). Here’s an unsolicited secret: Christian women want a Godly man. A “Godly man” really means a man’s man. A man who says what he wants, fights for it, and doesn’t apologize for his feelings. This includes honesty that is fueled by the internal knowledge that a man is still manly while he’s being tender to a woman. In short, a man who values God, values a woman, and acts on it.

There seems to be two common extremes that I am most familiar with at the present time. On one hand, there are non-Christian men who pursue women with worldly intentions. On the other, there are Christian men who love God (or say they love God) and do a whole lot of nothing even though there are perfectly good female candidates who desire a man to pursue them. Some of these Christian men flirt with the idea of trying something, and shoot themselves down before the woman has time to consider him. Or he can’t pick. Or he’s picking the one girl that all the other guys are picking. Or she’s completely out of his league. Or…who knows? There are great options in front of them, but they sit there–––for whatever reason–––single as ever, with the desire for a woman, but with no action to put everyone out of their misery.

You see, as women, we understand that it’s the man’s role to pursue. So we don’t want to do it for you (even though we are tempted). Culture says that women should be aggressive these days, but the Bible doesn’t say that. Yet, why are we listening to culture and getting confused?

Obviously culture is influential to us, but it seems terribly necessary in this moment to call out this frustration. Men, do your job. Ask her out. If she says ‘no’, ask her out again, or find someone else to ask out. Look for traits that will work for you. Not just a woman who is easy on the eyes, but one who is easy on your heart. I know we can be intimidating, but we don’t even realize it!

All I know is that being in the presence of a man gives me a breath of fresh air and the kind of butterflies I haven’t had in years. Each of you have it inside of you, and I am inviting you to break out the big guns and do your thing. And just in time for Valentine’s Day…

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