Men, It’s Time to Grow Up

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Statistics indicate that the majority of young men in this country are single and it is painfully obvious why that is. As a whole, they have not grown up and still act like they’re in high school. Mark Driscoll says it best, “this world is full of boys who can shave.”

During a time of singleness in my life, I was desperately searching to find a Godly woman to make my wife. One day, it finally dawned on me that I was not ready to date someone because I was not a Godly man. Sure I went to church, served in the youth group, and did my devotions, but there is so much more than that to be a Godly man in a relationship. You are the leader of your household.

Tip #1: Grow up

In order to be a man you need to grow up. Stop playing video games, get a real job, move out on your own, become financially stable. Women are only attracted to losers because they have motherly instincts and will want to coddle you and make your lunch. They will grow tired, though, and very quickly they’ll want a real man. Sorry boys.

We spend too much of our time fooling around. This is not a bad thing, per se, but wasting time is the trademark of a boy. Do you want to be taken seriously? Be decisive in your thoughts, words, and actions.

Tip #2: Seek men one life-stage ahead of you

Hang out with older Christian men who are in the next stages of life.

If you are single, hang out with young married couples. If you are a newlywed, hang out with men who have families. They will give you the best advice because they will tell you how they screwed up and you’ll know what not to do. I was blessed to have an older brother that mentored me throughout the difficult times in my life; you can have the same thing.

Tip #3: Fill your time with Godly things

Fill your time with Godly things… music, books, and sermons.  The majority of us have to commute to work or school every day; listening to sermons is a great way to fill that time. I challenge you to start listening; it will change your life.

A great series on relationships is Steven Furtick’s Mr. and Mrs. Betterhalf, (one of these sermons is the reason why I am with the love of my life right now). Furtick says, “Stop looking for your fairytale princess and crown the queen you already know.” In that moment, God revealed an incredible girl that I had been serving with for over a year in the ministry, and that I needed to pursue her.  In addition, Mark Driscoll has an incredible sermon entitled “Men and Marriage.”  In this sermon, he points out several different stereotypes of boys. If you want to stay immature and live with your parents, I recommend that you do not listen to this.

Tip #4: Grab a book

Grab a book and read, instead of watching 4 hours of SportsCenter per day. A few recommendations are:

• “Measure of a Man” by Gene Getz
• “The Warrior Within” by Pat Williams
• “Just Do Something” by Kevin DeYoung

These are incredible books written by great men of the faith.

I am not writing this article because I think I am finally some type of Godly man now… or that I know more than you do. Also, I’m not saying that just because you’re single, you’re a little boy that needs to grow up. Singleness is a great time to learn about yourself and pursue your passions.

Be careful though.  Too many Christian men are willing to stay in that stage of life for way too long. As a result, so many Christian girls end up going after loser guys, and it’s all because no great Christian men will step up.

So please, men: stop being another statistic; let’s grow up.

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