Men: Stop Trying and Start Being

• Tweet
• Pin It

I’m going back a bit, but one of my favorite movies is The Matrix. It revolutionized action movies. Just think, how many countless times has the “bullet time” been copied? It was cool, action packed, thought provoking, and had an amazing style (let’s just pretend the sequels didn’t ruin the franchise).

One of my favorite scenes will always be where Neo is placed in the chair, hooked up to the Matrix, downloaded with information, and announces, “I know Kung Fu.” To which Morpheus replies, “Show me”. They are then launched into a sparing program to battle it out. The scene has some of my favorite quotes.

A few seconds after they begin to fight, Morpheus tells Neo, “Good. Adaptation… …improvisation… …but your weakness is not your technique.”  The fight continues, escalates, and Morpheus calls out, “Come on, Stop trying to hit me and hit me.”

[divider]

Guys, it’s time to stop being like Neo.

In the world of relationships and dating, too much focus is placed on technique and trying. I know what you’re thinking, “It’s a bit of a stretch to go from the Matrix and Kung Fu, to dating and relationships.” To which I’d say, “True, but go with me here.”

Most guys spend a lot of time worried about trying to impress women. They worry about looking right, acting smooth enough, impressing them with their wit, charm, and the perfect pick-up line. But the problem is not your technique (though for some, it definitely may not be helping). The problem is when we spend so much time trying to look like the perfect guy, that we completely neglect becoming the men we should be.

[divider]

“Stop trying to hit me and hit me.”

Stop trying to look good and start being good.

I don’t claim to have everything figured out. If we met, it wouldn’t take very long for you to realize that I’m far from perfect.  I’m no Brad Pitt, I am a bit of a nerd. Cheesy jokes are perfectly acceptable forms of humor in my world. I did reach a point in life, however, when I became comfortable with who I was (at least, as comfortable as anyone can be).

I quit worrying about who I thought everyone wanted me to be and started trying to become the man I believed I should become.  Though I have made, and continue to make plenty of mistakes along the way, it was when I shifted to this focus that I met my wife.

[divider]

The Shift

The first part to the shift is that there is a bit of an ironic paradox. I met my wife… when I stopped trying so hard to find my wife.

I previously wrote an article (look back at The Joy of Going Stag) on the truth that being single is not a bad thing. It’s a perfect time to focus on becoming who you should. When you’re single, you have the complete freedom to pursue all of your goals, chase any dreams, and focus solely on bettering your character.

To become the man you are meant to be, focus on being the man God created you to be. Study the Bible, pray for God’s will to be carried out in your life, and start searching for ways to become involved in furthering His kingdom here on Earth.

Finally, stop trying to impress women and start being a man who respects, honors, and protects. Do nothing that belittles their worth. Do nothing that attempts to take advantage. Take part in nothing (thoughts, speech, or actions) which dehumanizes… treating them as though they are a trophy to be acquired or a goal to be accomplished. Treat them with the respect we all deserve.

Whether you are single and content, single and searching, dating, in a serious relationship, or married, the focus should be the same.  Strive to always be the man God intends for you to be. Be a man of respect, honor, loyalty, truthfulness, and love. Be a man who cherishes and protects the value of women. Be a man who sets aside selfish desires and seeks to serve. Strive to be a man worthy of a woman.

If you truly want to impress women, stop trying and start being.

[box_help]Sound Off: Do you wait for perfection… in yourself and in others? How does this effect how you treat the opposite sex? Let us know in the comments.[/box_help]

Related Posts

• 

  Christian Shoddy is Still Shoddy
  Christian Shoddy is Still Shoddy
• 

  We Are Not Hoodlums.
  We Are Not Hoodlums.
• 

  Of Hobbits and Angels
  Of Hobbits and Angels
• 

  Rags to Riches and Back to Rags Again
  Rags to Riches and Back to Rags Again