Does Surprise Exist In Relationships Anymore?

I can’t imagine growing up in my parents’ generation. If my father liked a girl, he actually had to, you know… get to know her. It sounds crazy. In today’s culture, we know nothing about the “getting to know her” phase. Instead of:

Boy meets girl.
Boy asks girl out.
Boy gets to know girl.
Boy and girl date or never speak again.

It’s now:

Boy sometimes (but not always) meets girl.
Boy initiates contact via Facebook.
Boy and girl Facebook the you-know-what out of each other.
Boy and girl hang out.
Boy and girl randomly know too much about the other person, but play it off as mere coincidence.
Boy judges girl because of risque spring break pictures from Cabo in 2007.
Girl judges boy because he doesn’t have 1 Corinthians 13 listed in his “favorite quotations.”
Boy and girl grow tired of each other, and cease contact, because the fun of getting to know someone is completely minimized.

Does surprise exist in relationships anymore? I don’t think so.

What happens above happens in many (if not most) circumstances. We’re so ready to meet and marry that we’re willing to forego any semblance of getting to know another person.

With the advent of social media, nothing is shrouded in secrecy. I mean… you can easily decipher whether “Mrs. Right” is the perfect match based upon a seven-second Facebook stalk or Twitter search, right?

Wrong.

You see, the problem is that we are so willing to see if our prospective wifey meets specific dating criteria, that we are willing to forego intimacy. It says in 1 Thessalonians 4 (MSG) that God wants you to live a pure life. Prior to that, Paul says:

We ask you—urge is more like it—that you keep on doing what we told you to do to please God, not in a dogged religious plod, but in a living, spirited dance.

Paul is urging us to live a spirited dance of purity. And yes, the physical side is crucially important, but the mental side is paramount. We refuse to hear this, most times.

“As long as I’m keeping it in my pants, I’m good.”

And that’s a lie. You can marry yourself to someone in your mind if you’re not careful. You can date someone in your mind if you’re not careful. If you engage in the Facebook stalk, you’re asking to put this person under the microscope. There’s no purity there. You’re committing to somebody in your mind, or you’re leaving them for dead before they even know what’s hit them.

Embrace The Infatuation Phase

I’ve heard people rail against the infatuation phase, but really, I don’t think it’s all that bad. Sure, you might abandon all sense of self-control and go AWOL to your friends and family, but at the very least, the infatuation phase is honest.

The infatuation phase serves its’ purpose because despite the sheer amount of time spent together, it’s like one giant scavenger hunt. You’re finding something new about them, they’re finding something new about you. Repeat.

But that’s weird. And we don’t do that anymore, right? Because they could be awkward… or they might think you could be awkward. And it takes vulnerability to figure that out. So instead, we turn into miniature private eyes and seek to dissect everything about Mrs. Right before we even take our first walk together.

Hashtag awkward.

Make Her Worth The Wait

I’m preaching to myself here. Far too often, I’ve shelved great relationships with great women because they didn’t pass the test (whatever that means). Here and now, let’s commit to waiting. This seems way down the rabbit hole of what’s counter-cultural, but to see a different relationship you’re going to have to do something different. We need to keep our eyes on the prize: Jesus.

Find Jesus instead of the best possible version of her. Considering that our social media accounts are just highlight reels anyway, you’ll find that Jesus is the highlight reel God. The Bible is his immaculate Facebook. You’ll never find something about him that doesn’t meet your list of standards, because he is the standard. And I can guarantee you this:

You won’t care. The more you press in, the less she matters. And that’s not in an arrogant way, but in a “Jesus determines my love, so who cares what she did in Cabo” kind of way. It’s that simple.

Apple Unveils New Macbooks, OS X Mountain Lion, iOS 6

Photo: Apple

Today, Apple CEO Tim Cook delivered the keynote address of the company’s 2012 Worldwide Developers Conference. During the event, Apple announced updated Macbooks across the board (including a slimmer, “flagship” Macbook Pro), OS X Mountain Lion, and iOS 6.

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Updated Macbooks

The most noteworthy is a new lineup of Macintosh laptops, including a revamped MacBook Air, the lightest of the computers, and a thinner, more powerful MacBook Pro.

“Today we’ve updated the entire MacBook line with faster processors, graphics, memory, flash storage and USB 3 connectivity,” said Philip Schiller, Apple’s senior vice president of worldwide marketing.

“We’ve made the world’s best portable family even better and we think users are going to love the performance advances in both the MacBook Air and MacBook Pro.”

The high-performance MacBook Pro will include the so-called retina display used on the new iPads, giving an extra high resolution screen.

“It is simply the best computer Apple has ever made,” Schiller said.

The New 15" Macbook Pro
Photo: Wired

Source: AFP

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OS X Mountain Lion

The new Mac operating system, which will release in July for $19.99, is packed with a slew of features. The update brings apps and popular features from the iPad and iPhone to the Mac, with 100 new capabilities from iChat functionality to updates in the Safari browser.

For example, Mountain Lion incorporates Notes, Reminders, and Game Center to the Mac, as well as Notification Center, Share Sheets, Twitter integration, AirPlay Mirroring and Dictation.

iCloud Tabs, a new feature in Safari, will show all tabs open in Safari on all other iOS devices and Macs logged in to the same iCloud account. Safari also gains a unified search/address bar into its’ interface (finally).

Power Nap is another new feature, and it will carry out functions while a Mac is charging and sleeping. New emails will be downloaded, Time Machine will automatically run, app updates will be applied and other actions will be carried out with Power Nap. This will be available on the new ultra-thin MacBook Pro (announced today) and second-generation and later MacBook Airs.

Source: MacRumors

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iOS 6

Siri can now launch apps and tweet. Siri is smart about sports. It can pull in scores, game summaries and player stats. Siri integrates with Yelp and OpenTable for restaurant reviews and reservations. Siri in iOS 6 will also integrate with Rotten Tomatoes for movie times and reviews. Siri is also available in a slew of new languages and will get hands-free integration in lots of in-car systems. Also (wait for it)… Siri is coming to the new iPad.

There is also deep Facebook integration in iOS 6. Users can login to their Facebook account in iOS 6 and have instant access to Facebook in apps, the web browser and Siri. Developers can also easily add access within their apps. Facebook contacts, events, and birthdays will all sync into your iPhone.

iOS 6
Photo: Wired

Other features:

[fancylist]

  • VIP mail: will highlight mail from people you really want to hear from.
  • Passbook: Imagine a location-enabled Google Wallet. It collects all of your loyalty cards, ticket information and other info into one neat place for easy access. What’s more, it will prompt your apps (like the Starbucks app) to open with a swipe when you actually enter Starbucks. Passbook looks gorgeous and will certainly make life easier.
  • Apple Maps: Out with the old (Google) and in with the new. Apple’s own mapping app features new maps (of course), flyover, and turn-by-turn navigation. From what we could see, Apple’s done this very, very well.

[/fancylist]

Developers will get the beta version tomorrow. Customers will see iOS 6 in the fall (with the new iPhone!!!!!).

Source: Mashable

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[box_help]What are your thoughts? Did Apple meet your expectations? Let us know in the comments.[/box_help]

Monday Rundown: Is Proud To Be An American

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It’s Monday, and if you’re new to Quarterlife Man (welcome), you’re new to the Monday Rundown. The Monday Rundown is a compendium of  randomness compiled over the course of each week. Enjoy…

[As always, if you’ve seen something crazy or have a suggestion, email us or tell us on Twitter (@QuarterlifeMan).]

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––The future is here.

Check out Leap:

#SoCool. In two days, that video garnered nearly two million views, and one week later, the video sits at over four million views. If you were too lazy to watch the video, Leap essentially uses your natural hand movements to interact with your computer through a small, USB-sized peripheral. Goodbye mouse/trackpad. Goodbye keyboard. It’s all unnecessary.

It’s only $70, too. Order one here and own the future.

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––Learnist: Pinterest for Learning

Learnist

Take a proven success (Pinterest) and add a proven market (81.5 million students in the United States alone). Adapt the concept. Create Learnist.

Learnist is organizing all of the wisdom of mankind in text, images, video and audio, curated by fellow humans for your learning convenience.

The website is currently invite only, but you can request an invite on the Learnist homepage. Read more about Learnist here, too.

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––The Great Gatsby

One of the greatest books of all-time will be in theaters this Christmas:

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––Smartphone Battle:

This is like a cold war for smartphones. According to Mashable, LG’s 5-Inch 1080p display could send Apple’s retina display home crying. This is all, of course, while rumors for the new iPhone have it’s resolution increasing to 640 x 1136 pixels.

Can’t make any sense of it? Neither can we. Then again, you can add to the nonsense with the news that Facebook may launch a smartphone by next year [REPORT].

Maybe it’s time for the Quarterlife Man smartphone?

At least an app?

We’ll see.

(But there’s big news coming.)

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––Proud to be an AMUURRICAN. 

Lee Greenwood, live in 1985. Happy Memorial Day, folks:

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[box_success]Thanks for reading. Check back next Monday for more of the Rundown and, as always, tweet us (@QuarterlifeMan) if you have any suggestions![/box_success]

Three Thoughts on the Pinterest Effect

Pinterest

We’re in big trouble.

You’ve heard of it: it’s called Pinterest, and it’s here to stay. If you’ve been living under a rock, Pinterest is the new social network that launched last August with tremendous success. The premise is simple: you pin an image to one of your pinboards, which is usually centered around a simple, passionate idea (e.g. “weddings” or “my dream home”).

Since launching in August, Pinterest has grown phenomenally, to the rate of over 11,000,000 new visitors per month. This is the same trajectory as Facebook, so chances are all of your female friends (and some of the guys too) are already on board. In fact, Pinterest drives more traffic than Google+, YouTube, and LinkedIn combined. They’ve also secured $27 million in funding from Andreessen Horowitz, with a company valuation of $200 million.

What does this mean for us? Three thoughts:

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1. We’re in trouble.

Circling back to my original thought, we’re in trouble. Women everywhere are creating their fairytale weddings, homes, and even baked goods (I’m serious). This creates a problem. There are a bunch of women that are idealizing their futures, which is dangerous. Their posts are filled with, “if only I had this” or “if I had the money.”

To counteract this behavior, you need to be the ultra-man. You need to be so manly that she can’t help it. “How do you do that,” you ask? Rely on Jesus, 100%. If your only concerns are heavenly things, her only concerns will be heavenly things. You set the tempo. If she doesn’t follow, find a new woman to lead.

It’s okay to fantasize about the future… but the only idolization I want my future wife to take part in is with Jesus.

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2. We get a cheat sheet.

Yo’ girl got a Pinterest? You just got a massive cheat sheet to providing everything she ever dreamed of.

The perfect meal. The perfect ring. The perfect getaway. It’s all out there in the open thanks to the power of the internet. All you need is a quick glance at a few of her pinboards and you have a great opportunity to give her those things she absolutely desires.

It also raises the stakes too: surely she’s not oblivious to this fact, so you better be the best boyfriend/fiance/husband ever.

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3. It’s actually… somewhat fun.

As of very recently, Quarterlife Man has a Pinterest. For article publication purposes, we deemed it very important to disseminate our content to the fastest rising social network–––especially because a decent percentage of our readership is women. There’s also a void in the space for manly-man content (see: Board of Man). As a result, we’ve created six boards:

[fancylist]

  • Man Stuff: The cool things a man needs.
  • Man Media: Our articles, wrapped up in one neat area for viewing.
  • Man Cave: The essentials every man needs in his abode.
  • Man Travel: The places a man should travel.
  • Man Food: Food. Steaks. Red meat. Healthy stuff, too.
  • Man Style: Clothes make the man. We agree.

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You won’t see a ton of action on Pinterest; we are merely curating tastes and a feel according to our brand. I’m not sure how women can spend HOURS on the website; I suppose we’re all just wired differently. Anyway, check it out. We’d love to have to follow us… and you might as well be an early-adopter, because pinning is hot, and Pinterest isn’t going anywhere.

[box_help]Are you on Pinterest? What are your thoughts on the growing social network? Let us know in the comments.[/box_help]

 

The New Social Diseases

We live in a fast paced and exciting world.  Everyone feels connected, and at any moment you can find out what people are up to, where they are, and what they are thinking (sometimes in 140 characters or less).

The Internet has become ingrained in our culture.  Social Networks have brought people together and have even helped topple nations.  We no longer live in the world of our fathers, and our world drastically changes with every click and innovation.

I am a fan of technology.  I do not fall into the line of thinking that gadgets and social networks are ruining our culture.  However, I do believe that there are new challenges that come along with our high tech culture.

The Internet has brought amazing things, and it’s hard to imagine life without the now common things like status updates and tweets.  But the Internet has also become another means for man to seek after the things he longs for, and the desires of man are far from always admirable.

The other day, I was driving along, listening to satellite radio, when an ad came on for a website entirely devoted to helping people have an affair and get away with it.  Their slogan was, “Show me a hot wife, and I’ll show you a man that’s tired of being with her.”

A popular men’s magazine was on the rack at the grocery store.  Its cover proudly announced, “Horny? Finally, there’s an app for that.”

Most of us have grown up in a generation where we were constantly warned of the danger of social diseases such as HIV and AIDS.  We have been assaulted by images and descriptions that can never be erased (thanks to the world’s idea of Sex Ed), all in the hopes that we will protect ourselves and make wise choices.

In the midst of Social Networks and online dating, there are new social diseases to be wary of.  It’s easy to catch the disease of instant gratification, and become overtaken by symptoms such as feelings of entitlement and dependency upon the need for just one more click or message.

Enjoy the excitement of reaching out to new people, and the experience of talking with people who you would never have had the chance to meet before things like Facebook existed, but I urge you to guard your heart and mind.  Don’t allow the Internet’s feeling of anonymity to become your excuse for taking part in things which are destructive and harmful.  Don’t use the blessing of technology as a means for your next fix of self-pleasure.

In the cyber world, conduct yourself in such a way that nothing will undermine your character.  Be alert, and guard yourself against the new forms of social diseases, which wait to infect and wear on your life.

To paraphrase Colossians 3:17:

“And whatever you do, whether in person or in posts, do it all in the screen-name of the Lord Jesus, tweeting thanks to God the Father through Him.”

Monday Rundown: The Day After Christmas

Christmas Nutcracker

What’s up Monday Rundown lovers? We have a DELUXE version of the Rundown today because last week we were moving servers. Therefore, in honor of the blandness known as the rest of winter that begins today, let’s go:

(Let it be known that the Monday Rundown feels horrible for anybody in a cold-weather climate today. Ouch.)

––Sending The Christmas Love: Inspired by similar stories from around the country, two families from South Florida donated $15,000 to a K-Mart in Lantana, Florida to pay off layaway gifts. Seeing generosity like this is incredible. In addition, these families are a part of the Christ Fellowship family and it’s very heartening to see the manifestation of what we’re learning in everyday life.

 ––How About This: A 59-year-old woman–––who had never previously held a hockey stick–––won a truck at a hockey game with this amazing shot. The incredible shot was from 114 feet away into a tiny opening at the other end of the ice, no bigger than a regulation-size hockey puck. Please watch this video.

––Jell-O, For Adults?: Kraft, the maker of Jell-O desserts, is launching a dessert made just for adults. What’s cool about this is that they’ve created a vending machine that doles out the treats, but only to those of a certain age. The machine for the dessert, called Temptations (oooh, steamy), uses facial recognition technology. Kraft collaborated with Intel on the project. #shockingtech

––Bad Fedex Employee: I don’t want this guy handling my stuff. Video here. (He throws––and breaks––a man’s computer monitor by launching it over a wall… on camera).

––YouTube Video of the Week: I really don’t use the word “adorable” very much, but here’s an opportunity: PUPPY. CHRISTMAS.

––Nothing Says “School Pride” Like Low Ticket Sales: News from Dr. Saturday (a college football blog) says that the University of Nevada had sold just ten tickets for their Christmas Eve bowl game, the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl. Really? That’s the best you can do? For a bowl game, in December, in Hawaii. Nevada, you’re a Division I FBS football program and you have fans… I don’t get it.

––Speaking of Football: What a crazy year for the NFL. The Detroit Lions are 10-5 and in the playoffs for the first time since 1999. Tim Tebow is 7-3 as a starter. The Buffalo Bills were mildly relevant before dropping seven games in-a-row. Houston won the AFC South, while Indianapolis has just two victories (including a win over Houston). Let’s also mention that San Francisco has 12 wins. Has hell frozen over yet?

––Follow The Leader?: Always look to the leader for inspiration: i.e. Facebook’s new headquarters. Maybe the future Quarterlife Man headquarters will embody some of the same characteristics? I love the chalkboard walls.

––Starting From The Garage: Check out this visual tour of where mammoth companies like Apple, Google, and Craigslist began. Featuring garages, warehouses, and living rooms, it’s a great look into how these multi-billion dollar companies got their start. It’s also very inspiring as we launch this new venture at QM.

 ––ONE WEEK UNTIL PASSION 2012: Just one week. That’s all. Can’t expect any sleep at all… not a wink.

 

Monday Rundown: Can’t See Straight

Throw yo hands up, it’s the first Monday Rundown in many, many Mondays. Rightfully so, we have so much to talk about, so let’s catch up–––

––WHATTTTTTT: Talk about one HECK of a weekend for Detroit sports. The Detroit Lions Kardiac Kitties came back from a deficit of 20 or more for the second straight week, defeating the Cowboys 34-30 after trailing 27-3. You. Iz. Kidding. Me. Let me go on-record by saying the following: that is completely ridiculous. Last week was crazy enough; this week was unbelievable. In 2008, this team would’ve lost 44-3, but it’s official, the culture has changed. The Lions are now 4-0 and tied atop the NFC North with the NFL’s only other undefeated team, the Green Bay Packers. The Lions have the Bears next week on Monday Night Football, which will be raucous. Continue reading “Monday Rundown: Can’t See Straight”