#12in12: Andy Stanley’s Controversial Decision

[colored_box color=”grey”]Ed. Note: Happy Holidays, Quarterlifers! We’re really excited about QM’s new look; I hope you are as well. In honor of a great 2012 and and even better 2013 to come, we are doing #12in12, a tribute to the twelve best stories of this year. If you have an opinion of what you liked, let us know via Facebook or Twitter.

–Thanks, JS[/colored_box]


 

2. Andy Stanley’s Controversial Decision

by Jayson Schmidt – May 11, 2012

Nothing says controversy like Andy Stanley and how the church reacts to homosexuality. This article was easily the most commented piece of work on Quarterlife Man this year. In fact, it still even gets comments to this day. We love engagement and interaction; this well-written piece of work was the perfect example… and that’s why it’s our #1 post of 2012.


I’m a big fan of Andy Stanley. I listen to his podcast weekly, read his books and often view sermons on his church’s website. He is an excellent communicator and has an amazing ability of considering the people Jesus specifically spoke to while focusing in on the context of the situation, which leads to getting the most out Jesus’s words. I admire that skill greatly. Recently however, one of Andy’s illustrations has caused quite the stir in churches and fired off (what Albert Mohler calls) a “shot heard round the world”.

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#12in12: The Myth Of “The Friend Zone”

[colored_box color=”grey”]Ed. Note: Happy Holidays, Quarterlifers! We’re really excited about QM’s new look; I hope you are as well. In honor of a great 2012 and and even better 2013 to come, we are doing #12in12, a tribute to the twelve best stories of this year. If you have an opinion of what you liked, let us know via Facebook or Twitter.

–Thanks, JS[/colored_box]


 

2. The Myth Of “The Friend Zone”

by Jayson Schmidt – January 16, 2012

All of this talk about the friend zone had to finally be rebuked, and in the post it was. Relationships and friendships are never black and white.


Stop right now. Just stop it.

I know what you’re going to say…

“I read the title and I’m going to pre-judge!! There is a friend zone! Ryan Reynolds was brilliant in a movie about it!!!”

See? I read your mind. And I know… there was a movie called Just Friends and Ryan Reynolds wasbrilliant. But let me dig into this topic a little bit first:

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#12in12: Naked Women: Where Are You?

Ed. Note: Happy Holidays, Quarterlifers! We’re really excited about QM’s new look; I hope you are as well. In honor of a great 2012 and and even better 2013 to come, we are doing #12in12, a tribute to the twelve best stories of this year. If you have an opinion of what you liked, let us know via Facebook or Twitter.

–Thanks, JS


 

3. Naked Women: Where Are You?

by Jayson Schmidt – December 30, 2011

Although published two days before 2012, this post still makes the cut. Purity is a struggle for any man, myself included. This was an introspective look at how I deal with naked imagery and if you struggle with that too, you need to read this.


As a man, I have always struggled with purity.

Though never sexually active–––unless, like me, you struggle to define what ‘sexually active’ truly is… and then maybe I was–––I have always struggled with the flesh. I’m sure you have too.

For awhile, I had no idea what purity truly was. I knew not to have sex… but I didn’t know why not to have sex.

And then I learned. I learned that what I will share with my future wife is one of the most intimate things that God has created for this earth. I also learned that this intimacy is multiplied if you’ve stayed true to your future wife… and not gone hooking up with other women like rabbits.

Here’s the cool thing:

 

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#12in12: The Gift of Undivided Devotion

Ed. Note: Happy Holidays, Quarterlifers! We’re really excited about QM’s new look; I hope you are as well. In honor of a great 2012 and and even better 2013 to come, we are doing #12in12, a tribute to the twelve best stories of this year. If you have an opinion of what you liked, let us know via Facebook or Twitter.

–Thanks, JS


 

4. The Gift of Undivided Devotion

by Jennifer Stoltzfus – February 13, 2012

This was Jenn’s first post, and although it took some prodding to finally get it onto Quarterlife Man, I’m 100% thankful that she wrote it. It’s full of Scripture, full of truth, and all in all just great writing. You will be better for reading it if you haven’t already.


It is always a privilege for me to share my heart through words. Whether they are written or spoken, it is truly my deepest joy. What I usually don’t have the privilege of doing, however, is sharing my heart to an audience that primarily consists of men. Though I am admittedly out of my comfort zone, I am excited to join this journey and walk it with you. Please know that I come seeking only to encourage you with the Word of God… nothing more and nothing less. I hope that by His grace I will do so.

If given the platform to an audience of men, there is much I would have to say. I would tell you that women are not a game to be won, so don’t make them one. I would tell you that to evaluate every woman you meet as a potential spouse is bogus. I would tell you to fight for her heart and show her you are different. I would tell you to watch the words that you use because she will replay them in her mind for days, weeks, and even months to come. I would tell you to value her as your sister in Christ far before you think about anything else (and if she’s not your sister in Christ you’ve got a whole other issue to overcome).

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#12in12: How to Tell if You’re Dating a Preacher

Ed. Note: Happy Holidays, Quarterlifers! We’re really excited about QM’s new look; I hope you are as well. In honor of a great 2012 and and even better 2013 to come, we are doing #12in12, a tribute to the twelve best stories of this year. If you have an opinion of what you liked, let us know via Facebook or Twitter.

–Thanks, JS


 

5. How to Tell if You’re Dating a Preacher

by Cory Copeland – January 9, 2012

This was the first of many wonderfully written satirical pieces by Cory Copeland on QM. Hilariously funny and 100% true, this look at our slice of Christianity is good for the soul.


There is but one mighty trophy that exists in the brutal competition known as the Christian dating world—that of the young preacher as husband/wife. Wishes have been made, secret séances have been conducted, and felonies have been committed, all in the name of landing a preacher as a spouse. Of this, I am certain.

But how can you tell when that fine young lad or lass you’re interested in has designs on entering the ministry, or is just a good ol’ Christian soul? The subtle nuances can be daunting. Kinda like when Dr. Quinn had to decide if Sully was right for her, or just a good-looking white boy who thought he might just be a Native America (actually…it’s not anything like that, never mind). Regardless, I’ve already started writing and don’t want to stop, so therefore, I present to you, “Cory Copeland’s Guide on How to Tell if You’re Dating a Preacher”:

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#12in12: The Tragedy of Soviet Apartment Buildings

Ed. Note: Happy Holidays, Quarterlifers! We’re really excited about QM’s new look; I hope you are as well. In honor of a great 2012 and and even better 2013 to come, we are doing #12in12, a tribute to the twelve best stories of this year. If you have an opinion of what you liked, let us know via Facebook or Twitter.

–Thanks, JS


 

7. The Tragedy of Soviet Apartment Buildings

by Chris Horst – June 22, 2012

Go figure. A 368 word post on a late Friday morning turned into the most trafficked day in Quarterlife history. Thanks to the help of some loyal Redditors in the economics forum, an average Friday afternoon placed thousands more of their friends on a Christian website. Again, go figure.


Perhaps the most enduring symbol of the Soviet experiment is their architecture. During the spring of 2007, I lived in an oft-forgotten corner of Romania, working to expand HOPE’s work into the country. As with all former Soviet republics, Romania’s cities are filled with massive apartment blocks, exemplified in this picture which was taken from the window of the apartment where I lived.

They aren’t pretty. These concrete, gray monstrosities line every street, each one in a different state of disrepair. Not only do they blight these communities, but it also made navigating Romanian cities a nightmare (try finding your apartment when all the buildings are carbon-copies of one another).

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#12in12: Seeing Dating For What It Is

Ed. Note: Happy Holidays, Quarterlifers! We’re really excited about QM’s new look; I hope you are as well. In honor of a great 2012 and and even better 2013 to come, we are doing #12in12, a tribute to the twelve best stories of this year. If you have an opinion of what you liked, let us know via Facebook or Twitter.

–Thanks, JS


 

8. Seeing Dating For What It Is

by Shane Stoltzfus – May 29, 2012

This article was a beacon of truth the moment it hit Quarterlife Man. Addressing men and women alike, Shane’s candid approach (I’m just adding to the conversation … As a single Christian guy I am trying to find where I belong in all of this.) was edifying and very well done. Take a read if you’re ready to learn.


Dating is something that I have never really thought was an issue that mattered to God because of how minuscule it can seem when compared to deeper issues. Even the word itself has a specific stigma to it. It’s as if this word holds some sort of power that causes conversations to get awkward and people to get either extremely happy or ridiculously sad. Some people even get angry at the very thought of the word.

Most people that write about dating come across as if they are the ultimate authority on the issue. They all have written a dozen books about it and although each author differs in opinion and logic they somehow all remain correct. It’s ridiculous, as if a self help book is going to launch you into a Godly relationship with the opposite sex. I’m not even going to pretend to be like that because the truth is I don’t have it figured out.

I’m just adding to the conversation… taking the things I’ve noticed and mixing them with a few things that I have learned. As a single Christian guy I am trying to find where I belong in all of this. I love the idea of marriage and I realize that dating is a prerequisite to that endeavor. My problem with dating is that it has been completely abused and in some situations it has become extremely unhealthy.

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#12in12: Knights in Shining Armor Need Not Apply

Ed. Note: Happy Holidays, Quarterlifers! We’re really excited about QM’s new look; I hope you are as well. In honor of a great 2012 and and even better 2013 to come, we are doing #12in12, a tribute to the twelve best stories of this year. If you have an opinion of what you liked, let us know via Facebook or Twitter.

–Thanks, JS


 

9. Knights in Shining Armor Need Not Apply

by Brittany Miller – January 12, 2012

This article, published last January, was the first from ‘ole B. She graduated from this great piece to our Coffee Shop Talk feature, which we all dearly miss. Enjoy what lies below and send her some encouragement!


All of us ladies have been told since we were little to hold out for our “Prince Charming,” to be swept away on a valiant steed by our “Knight in Shining Armor.”

Well, I’m about to rip the flood gates open on that load of crap… so gentlemen, pay close attention.

If we’re going to be honest, we have to start at the very beginning and get one thing straight.Girls are brain washed and delusional. You can thank Walt Disney and the first slumber party for that. We sit and watch these movies where the woman leads such a tragic life and magically a man makes it all better with a single kiss before the last rose petal falls.

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#12in12: When Knowing Isn’t Enough

Ed. Note: Happy Holidays, Quarterlifers! We’re really excited about QM’s new look; I hope you are as well. In honor of a great 2012 and and even better 2013 to come, we are doing #12in12, a tribute to the twelve best stories of this year. If you have an opinion of what you liked, let us know via Facebook or Twitter.

–Thanks, JS


 

10. When Knowing Isn’t Enough

by Cory Copeland – February 7, 2012

This post from Cory Copeland dissects the old saying, “When you know, you know,” and does it with truth and clarity. I remember reading this and immediately flashing over to relationships gone sour, taking what I had learned and applying it. Everyone should read this article.


When you know, you know. And when you don’t know, you still know.

This is a saying I use on an almost daily basis when people ask me for relationship advice (I know; I’m surprised as you are). I think I came up with it myself, but considering the amount of movies, music, and television I ingest, I wouldn’t doubt that I subconsciously stole it from someone (as long as it wasn’t Nickelback…).

Regardless, this saying can not only be applied to most of life’s situations, but more specifically, to love. “When you know, you know…” How many times have we heard that from a freshly engaged male or female as they smile and try to explain why they’ve popped that magical question or answered yes to it. And you know what? It’s the truth. When you love someone, you know that you love them. If you aren’t sure if you love them or not, guess what “…you still know” (here’s a hint: you don’t).

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#12in12: Men Are Complicated, Women Are Complicated

Ed. Note: Happy Holidays, Quarterlifers! We’re really excited about QM’s new look; I hope you are as well. In honor of a great 2012 and and even better 2013 to come, we are doing #12in12, a tribute to the twelve best stories of this year. If you have an opinion of what you liked, let us know via Facebook or Twitter.

–Thanks, JS


 

11. Men Are Complicated, Women Are Complicated

by Aliza Rosen – February 14, 2012

Aliza’s post came to us via the female perspective and killed it. This #ValentinesWeek post was one of the many gems that came out of that week, which is why we’re excited to do it again this year.


Note: I feel prompted to paint a scenario that is descriptive enough to make a difference. Our generation was taught what ‘not to do’ in churches, but often the ‘why’ was left unanswered. This article is simply a step toward redeeming the mentality of this generation by pumping culturally relevant truth into the dialogue, with the sincere hope for a resuscitation of our values for the sake of our God.

We have it backwards. We all do. Sex and relationships in this culture makes for some serious confusion. The mixed messages make it seem impossible to do the relationship thing the “right” way. We bargain with God and ourselves. And when we bargain, we lose ground.

Many guys I’ve spoken with about the subject will generally admit that if they cross major physical boundaries with a girl, they lose interest in having a serious relationship with them. Well, what sparks the loss of interest? This physical act downgrades the ‘good girl’ he’s pursued and considered introducing to his parents, and strips her down to some chick he doesn’t want to take 5 seconds to text back because he wants her off his back…

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